The home that we grew up in, what can I say about it? As a child, it was an emotional roller coaster, because my siblings and I never knew what to expect. As adults, we sit around on Thanksgiving and Christmas laughing and joking about the same things that we were once terrified and cried about. Our home was not in the best of conditions...and I say that in the nicest way. When my father was killed, my brother decided to move in with my aunt. And so we had eight females in a small three bedroom and one (tiny) bath home. We had guest that visited regularly...possums, snakes (Lord the snakes), and armadillos. We had old clothes stuffed into holes any and everywhere...that house was just falling apart. But, my mother continued to do what she could. She worked, did her best around to keep the house up, take us to church, pay here tithes, give in offerings, fast and pray (teaching us as well). She also continued to build her and my dads dream house, it took a long time...but with God's help she got it done and got us out of the old house!
I remember one night hearing my mother screaming. She had gotten up to use the restroom in the middle of the night. The Lord spoke to her "snake." She knew then that there was one in the house. As she made her way back to room, He spoke to her "snake" again. Through the window the moonlight glistened on top of his head...there was a copperhead curled up at her room door waiting. Another incident happened with my sisters, they were talking late at night (as girls do). They kept hearing something under the bed moving around. One of my older sisters Tinka kept wondering "what is moving that bag under the bed, I keep hearing a noise?!" There he was at the head of the bed! You can imagine the frenzy we all had! Funniest story ever (it is now), we had a possum visitor. He was running around the house and we were all terrified!! So, we all ran out of our rooms (except my mom...I have no idea what had to be going on in this woman's mind) and all of us piled on the sofa. My mom had a Garfield phone, so he must have thought it were a real cat...he stopped and checked it out. And then all of sudden we hear the twins toy phone (the white rotary phone with the red handle and smiley face) ringing...he's playing with the phone!
I could go on for DAYS with stories...they make me giggle now, but back then God knows I cried many days wondering "WHY?!?!" I cried over the living conditions, my dad, my life. And as I write He allows me to think there was not ONE time that one snake, possum, armadillo...or any other uninvited guest made it into our beds or harmed us. They came near...but they didn't harm us. He was the God of Psalm 91:3-4 "surely He shall deliver the from the snare of the fowler and from the noisome pestilence...He shall cover thee with His feathers, and under His wings shalt thou trust." Also, notice that this always happened when we were in bed sleeping...someone was ALWAYS available to come and kill these creatures for us!
As a child I was molested, tormented, rejected, disappointed, confused, hurt...and through all of that I always wondered "why me?!" I was surrounded by my mother and seven siblings, but yet felt so alone and terrified! I'd heard of this great God, that He "could do all things"....but why hadn't He done anything for me? Why do we live this way, why am I going through all of this at such a young age? And then we fast forward to today, it wasn't for me, it was for you. It was for your sons and your daughters. Every experience was for someone else.
Sometimes when we are experiencing hardships in life, we feel that God has left us, that He's not there. When actually, He's working continuously on our behalf. When the children of Israel were in Egypt and it was time for their deliverance, He told Moses that their cries had come before Him, that He'd seen their oppression. When Moses asked Him for His name to give to the children of Israel, God gave the name I AM.
I AM was with me through my difficult childhood. He was with us in that house when the prowlers creeped and crawled around at night. I AM was there when I cried myself to sleep at night, He was there listening to each tear. I AM was there then and He is HERE now. Just as He told Moses in Exodus 3:7 "I have surely seen the affliction of my people....for I know their sorrows" He means the same for us, He knows your sorrows. Just as He was there (and still is) for me, He is also here for you!
I AM is here...He is the same, yesterday, today, and forevermore! If I AM can part waters for the Israelites allowing them to walk on DRY land, then surely whatever your situation is, it is but a light thing to Him. Is there anything too hard for the Lord? I'd think not...He is your I AM and He is HERE for you!