Growing up without a natural father makes it difficult to comprehend a fathers love for you. I say that because as  parents, my husband and I may not directly tell our children why we are doing a certain thing, but we know it's for their good. When I was growing up, life was "mean" to me and in my childlike mind God just didn't like me. I had a resume of unfortunate events by the age of nine...and it kept getting longer everyday. At five my dad was killed, age eight my appendix ruptured almost resulting in death (at this age I was so depressed that I wanted to die), from ages nine to eleven I was molested by relatives (male and female), I was disliked in school (because I wasn't "good enough"), I had no one to talk to at home (because I wasn't old enough)...and the list continued to grow!!

So, as a teenager I made up my mind to try this God I've heard of all my life. Yes, I grew up in church...I was born and raised in one of the greatest churches in Houston, Texas: New Zion Temple Holiness Church under the leadership of the late Bishop H.W. Falls. I knew God, but I didn't know him for myself. I begin reading my Bible, saying my prayers, "having faith", and believing God for ALL things...because "all things are possible with God" Luke 18:27. I did that for so long, took a look at my resume and realized that instead of getting shorter...it grew LONGER?!?! I'm getting in fights practically everyday at school, I LOVE "him"...but he just uses me (you know what I mean), I'm no longer making A's, but C's,  scratch the C's..I'm a senior and not graduating?!? I'm getting a GED now?!? WAIT!! What is happening to me?!?!

One Sunday during church I walked out and my Aunt Denean walked up to me, "Lele Boo, why aren't you in church?" I looked at her and said with all the honesty in my heart, "Aunt Denean, I just don't have any faith in God." WOW..that brings tears to my eyes even now. You would have to know my aunt to know the look on her face...she was somewhat speechless. But, I was honest. In my mind...God just didn't like me. 

What am I getting to? 


Glad you asked. I was born April 23, 1978. Before I entire this world, my assignment came before me. Although as a child I had no idea why I had to go through what I went through,  God did. My sisters, my brothers, my mother...we all began a journey on November 10, 1983. We didn't understand why...but God did. It was for you reading this blog. Some little girl/boy that's hurting inside of some adult woman/man in another city or state that I may never physically meet. Some single mother or father who wonders if they will be able to raise their children alone. Some child looking for someone to help bandage their wounds. Through all of that my daddy's love carried me through, he carried us all...I didn't understand it then. I kicked, screamed, and cried at the top of my lungs...but He loved me through it all. 

I was never popular in school..but my daddy has given me a gift, and it's taking me into the presence of great men!  I didn't graduate high school (GED instead), but my daddy put me through college...I'm a Registered Nurse (even made the Deans List). I stopped loving "him" and my daddy let my husband find me, we will be married 13 years in May. Because of the ruptured appendix, my mother was told that I would never have children...I have five! Do you see my new resume...this one is written on pink paper, with butterflies, rainbows, and lollipops! :) 

Sometimes we just have to sit back and believe Romans 8:28 for what it says "and we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are called according to His purpose."  I love Him, I'm called...and I'm working this thing called purpose!